Jon Brion – Theme

hey you, guess what film i just watched….

eternal sunshine of the spotless mind

i think it is a very sad movie. erased someone from your mind, is just like erased a part of your life. and that is exactly when i am trying to erased you……i am in agony, dear life. imagining you still holding my hand, still kissing me, your hand strokes my hair.

i just miss you.

damn much.

i tried to move on, on some guys. but still, on the end of the day, it is still you.

remember that time when i run into you, after, like decades, we were not seeing each other. after that, i cried like a baby. i cried on my way home, 10pm, on the street. people was staring at me like, what was wrong to you….

you are the one i think regularly. it is you that still burning my mind.

and now, i am just sad.

reme

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Tepar

hyyy folks

it’s been a loooong time since i wrote here hehe. actually it makes me wondering, bcs everytime i want to write, it’s whether i want to go home, i am sick, i am get through an exam……whiich is i got all of it in the same time…today

so, i’ve been struggling with this hard flu, which in my case always led me to the asthma, and this dizzy and tired feeling… days ago, i got a very strong dizzy that makes my head like boom… seriously, so dizzy that i closed my eyes and then the dizzy got stronger. damn hard.

and then today, i got this flu and cough all the time and now on, my breath become fast and short and my chest starts to hurts…..welcoming my asthma damn

actually, my biggest fear is heart attack (idk but it is so scary, i think about it everytime) and thypoid fever.

i got a really scary story with this fever. in my last year in HS, in ramadhan i remembered it the most, i was at school and my head is so dizzy, so dizzy and lipm all day, i remebered it also, i was laying in my besties lap and then i got sleep…..when i woke up, here comes the hardest part, i got this strong and crazy dizzy!!! so dizzy that everything is move around and feel damn bad. i got in waringin and then i couldnt go home to kotabaru because i cudnt drive anymore!!!

and then my dad picked me up and all i remember is our motobyke is got through near the alang-alang in joyoboyo……and in the night, my fever is rising against everything and everyone got panic. in the morning, i was at the doctor and diagnosed by thyphoid.

the hospital is not good too! i got this damn painful feeling in my joints, like wtf is going on this is so bad. and not yet mentioning the sample blood that i got twice a day. yeah yolo.

so everytime, i got very strong and dizzy feeling in my flat, i cant go away the memory about thypoid fever…. the painfull, the blood, my parents…

idk why i write dis, bye, wish me luck and get well soon me 🙂

Back To School

Jadi ceritanya saya udah kembali ke dakolt lagi setelah liburan semester yang menyenangkan huehehe

Lumayan sih, hari ini kuliah pertama di semester 4 dan kampus rame juga ternyata, temen2 kelas yang exchange ke kore juga udah pada balik, banyak bawa free sample gt haha

Btw mau cerita, liburan kmrn kan sempet maen ke madura, lah disana sempet pijet juga karena udah beberapa hari doms gitu…….jadi waktu ditawarin pijet sih mau aja, dan beneran yak pijetmya tuh sakiiiiiiiiiit banget, mana seluruh tubuh yabg dipijet, literally seluruh tubuh! Dari kaki ampe kepala! Dan perut bagian bawah juga diurut kan, lah waktu itu mikir anjir serem banget kalo ada apa-apa nantinya…

Trus sekarang lagi haid kan dan ya ampun seneng banget! Haidnya lancar bgt dong ya huhu secara biasanya haid aku tuh suka gak lancar trus pendek dan sering siklusnya…..makanya ini seneng banget, semoga sehat-sehat terus pokonya

Hm mau cerita apa lagi yaaa…..sebenernya banyak tapi lagi males ngetik, jadi byeeee mwaaaah

Last Day of Third Semester

So todays gonna be the last day in dayeuh kolot for this year becuz tomorow, im goin home.

So crazeeeeh.

Semester ini kaya super super memoraaable. Banyak bgt pengalaman baru…..mulai dari awal senester ribet kosan, pindah kosan beberapa kali, trus nganter nyokap pulang, ribet ribet unyu di indeed, masuk rscm, legion…..

Seems like ive been working on this semester since loong time ago!

Semester yang panjang dan melelahkan….

Super cant wait for tomorrow, going home with day train, seeing rumah sinyal all the time, hearing and watching semboyans all the time too, and close the day with seeing my family 🙂

And the next day, ill start my holiday routine aka running! Aaaaaaaak! Cant wait to hit the road again! Feel the heat, the rush of endocannabinoids, and end up stormy doms on monday ehehe

Ill catch up later folks! Now wish me luck!

Tentang pulang

Gak pernah ngerasa seaneh ini. Rasa bahagia yang aneh gara2 alasan yang sederhana.

Abis latihan drama buat ukm kedaerahan asal. Seneng banget. Bukan latihannya, tapi orang2nya. Ngobrol dan ketawa pake bahasa ibu buatku disini rasanya mewah. Gak ada perasaan malu2 ngobrol pake bahasa asli. Senang. Senang banget. Rasanya kaya pulang ke rumah.

Mungkin ini alasan beberapa orang benar2 nggetu di ukm ini. Karena perasaan nyenengin ini… perasaan kembali ke kampung, perasaan bermain waktu kecil, perasaan ketemu sodara yang paling disayang..nyampur jadi satu.

Mungkin juga ibi alasan orang makin cinta tanah kelahiran waktu di tanah rantau. This is so clear to me.

Aku sering ngomong sebelumnya. Kita selalu bisa pulang. Selalu bisa. Baik ke rumah, ke orang lain, ke Tuhan..

Dan inilah rasanya pulang. Mungkin hanya pulang ke saudara satu organisasi. Tapi perasaan pengen  pulang itukan yang terus ada?

Mungkin itu alasan orang berusaha. Supaya bisa pulang.

Suffering

you have to know why i did that.

i’m just trying to move on.

from you.

from the memories that still burning in my head.

from my jealousy of you that try to talk to someone else.

trust me. myself still thinking about you. day and night.

i almost get that bipolar disorder state. once i dont give a single fuck about you. the next, i was crying over you.

yeah, i’m that pathetic.

right now, i’m about to die to moving on from you. just let me.